Question is...

..should I really go out tonight? It's late already, well not really, but it feel like it was. It's been dark for hours and hours. It's what I hate most about winter: the few hours of daylight. It's depressing me.
I got my new glasses today - both pairs (yes, I ordered two. Really cheap ones to tell the truth. But after last weeks little incident I thought I'd better get one in reserve right away...). Writing this down I realize that I did not even mention here what happend one week ago. In short: I fell. Flat on my face. It hurt. I got scratches and cuts and all kinds of ugly marks on the left side of my face. My glasses broke. My knee's still bruised and turned an interesting yellowish colour by now. All very bad. All very ridiculous. The laughs been on me ever since. Oh, and I lost my phone, too. Didn't I mention that before? If so I'll edit later.
So. I got my glasses today, and on pair is really stylish. The very very old fashioned "needs some courage to wear" kind of stylish. It's huge. It's nerdy. It's fun and right now I love it. It's probably not for each and every day, but since I got another pair, less extravagant and not all so obvious I'm fine and happy. If I feel like hiding and not sticking out I'll leave those at home.
Anna said she liked them. But I'm never sure if she's really honest. Especially when it comes to stuff like that. She's not good at telling you inconvinient truths... There are worse flaws to have, that's for sure. But still. I see her doing it to other people, telling me here true opinion later on and can't help but wonder how much she modifies her opinion to please me when I ask for it.
Anna is the one who used to tell me she thought the bar-boy liked me. She doesn't do so anymore and it's sort of alarming. He either might have said something negative about me. Or she might have met a girlfriend/crush - something shut her up. Well. I probably killed it myself, made such a fool out of myself that it doesn't really matter anyway. I'm not planning on going there anytime soon right now. And if I do I'll keep my distance. I drink too much and talk way too much.
I had a sex-dream last night, but I didn't know the guy. Strange but nice. I always feel stupid having these dreams about people I actually know. Or even like in particular. I honestly doubt sometimes that I'll have a real relationship ever again. Ever. That's sad and pathetic. And scarry too. But really: I wouldn't want to go out with me, leave alone have a serious thing with me. Cool glasses alone can't hide the fact that I'm a barely covered bag of problems I wouldn't want to drag along if I didn't have to.