"I'm a whole lot worse than well"

I almost had, well, sloppy sex last night. But since I am a better girl now, and especially since I decided to temporarily quit drinking alcohol I got. Still not sure if that makes me happy now. A few months (if not even weeks) ago I would have gone for it. I'm not sure if it really makes anything better to not have done it, especially since I know that guy, he's sweet but not in love with me (which is always a plus under given circumstances), we've had good times before (cheesy way to say: yes, we fucked). I think he might have been a little confused with my not even kissing him. He was drunk. A revelation of last night: two drunk hearts will do. Two sober too. But not one wasted and one not, at least not if it happens to be my part to be sober. I'm no better girl if I think of it. Sour moral issues don't really apply here. If he'd straight away asked I don't know what I'd done. And there is still no serious relationship hiding behind any tree on my way, waiting to jump at me and make me happy. I actually remember loud-mouthedly announcing that I'm in no state for such a thing presently. Announcin it right here. Maybe I should have done it, some pleasantries every now and then would do me good. Do I sound like a slut here? Do I care? Do you still read this? Why the hell would you?