"Stay on the charming side of drunk"

There are about five open books lying about on my bed. I've started to read each one, and I also seem to have quit them all. Why is that? Usually I read a lot. I just finished fuckin' Buddenbrooks by Thomas Mann, ignoring the sad fact that I normally never manage more than 400 pages per book! My attention span is ridicolous - more like that of a seven year old. Still I read and liked it too. But right now I just can't seem to get into anything. I've tried whatever I could find, both german and english . Nothing works for me, I'm frustrated. I can't watch TV all the time, can I? I went out to take pictures this morning, but it did not really work. Same goes for a drawing I'v been thinking of for ages. I can't seem to see things the way I usually do.I'm pathetic. Maybe I'm just too sad for anything still. I can't bring myself to go and meet people, or to do anything useful. Well, I cleaned my bathroom today. But I also really need to do the laundry and wash dishes. I haven't got a single clean teaspoon left. Maybe that's just normal? I'm clinging on to the hope that my state justifies a lot and still I know right away that I really need to have a close look at myself. I can't let myself drown in sadness and self pity doing absolutely nothing. Can't give in to the urge just to stay in bed all day too often. Am I depressed? Seriously, am I? My friends say I should not be too hard on myself. It only is two weeks, actually. Maybe I should give myself some sort of a deadline. Maybe not, because if I won't get my shit toghether by then it will only frustrate me even more. Everything seems complicated.
Not only that I'm sad and unable to get things done, I'm also very very bored. That seems unproportionally unfair. If fate thinks that I should be sort of paralyzed these days why can't I at least be free os such an unseless feeling as boredom? And I hate how I pity myself...!
Oh, by the way. I decided not to drink for at least three weeks. It's not helping. I can't believe I'm saying this but beer makes me feel no bit better, and I have the urge to drink and sort of flee my sad sober self that often these days that I think I should just stop it for a while. Will my life be brighter and the nights more intense? Probably not. I just have to prove myself that it really is okay, and that I do not have yet another problem here on top of everything. I know. I sound like someone you would hate. Matter of fact I sound like someone sort of suspicious to me too...