Whatever happend...?

Well, I got angry last night. I'm getting angry a lot lately, tons of furor and rage - I don't know where exactley that comes from. I'm going on my own nerves, which is, obviously, not a good feeling. Yesterday I caught myself sending Anna a message stating that I'd have to shoot myself if I ever had to work again with that guy who I was sharing my shift with right then. Pretty pathetic, since he was just what he always is like. Mildly annoying and highly courteous to me. Bit drunk (yes, we can get drunk working. We work without a supervisor, we have fridges full of beer and it is not even possible to actually realize how much we take without even paying the special price we can get it for. In fact nobody ever said we were not supposed to drink while working. Our boss is a hippie. Told you. Plus: as soon as the movie starts we have a kind of off-time for about the films length. Telling you all this I want you to appreciate a couple of things more: I pay for what I take. I don't start drinking alcohol before I haven't finished cashing up at night. And I haven't been drinking at all for the last couple of weeks. Now you know why I have to conduct experiments like that...) - what was it what I wanted to say? Oh. Sure. So my co-worker does have a way more serious problem with alcohol that I might. He sees himself as some kind of misunderstood intellectual. He gives speeches and claims to be conversing with you. But it is a neverending monologue. About music and film and philosophy and, worst case scenario, about politics. He's opionated like hell. And I feel like hell when he does that to me. But usually I'm just used to that. On good days I might even find that amusing. But I'm not having good days these days. I wasn't yelling at him. I was just showing him that I did not share any of his opinions. That I thought they were dumb, even. I was cold as a fish and contradicted him, whatever it was he was saying. He brings me to do that on principle. I don't like myself too much now. I've been a bitch to a lot of people lately. I need to get out and do something usefull.